Honor Your Sweetheart

When we fall in love we give ourselves over to the charms of our sweetheart, and surrender ourselves to the mysteries of union. That is when everything changes. Through each nuance of behavior, whether a kiss, a conversation, the income taxes, or making love, you are asked to take account of your sweetheart, but also of your relationship. That’s because when you fall in love, there’s another spiritual entity its the “we,” “us” that is brought into being. Although it’s invisible, it is utterly alive, vibrant, vivid, and unique; continuously present as a discrete though subtle energetic essence.

You can feel it when you’re alone together as the mysterious unified play of your two energies. You can recognize it when you present yourselves to the world, as arm in arm you enter a room and create a wave of response. It’s the constellation of ideas and points of view that as a pair, you embody, the joy that, as a couple, you bring to all those around you. It is neither the sum of both nor a negation of either of you. It is neither the sum of you both nor a negation of either of you. It is the mystical interaction by which an additional identity is created, where one plus one equals three not two. 

It is the entity relationship, the embodiment of opposites attracting, then uniting; strangers gathered at the same hearth; lovers, together, under the stars, bidding good night to the day that we acknowledging when we speak of ourselves as a “couple,” “Mr and Mrs.” “my sweetheart and I,” It meant so much to us to go to Paris .” We had a wonderful time at the party last night.” And this entity, like the individuals in it, must also be nourished. When you honor your relationship by speaking adoringly of it to others, by treating your sexual relationship as a sacred bond, by standing fast together in time of turmoil and sorrow, you strengthen the power of your union. You nourish the “we” as the precious being it is.Celebrate the unique, unrepeatable identity it has, and reweave the blanket of love that will warm and protect your union always.

Spend Some Quiet Time Together And Feel Your Love Grow

Do you want to feel your love grow? Then you might want to  take your eyes off you tech toys and put them on your sweetheart.  Everyone knows that feeling when  technology calls out to them for attention. Don’t we? Our just a moments go something like this. Oh, just a minute honey let me check my texts, or my Facebook wall or email or the many ways we use technology these days.  It’s a little sad how  our love for  technology seems to run a close second to the love of our sweethearts.

Most of us spend more time on our computers and other electronics than we do with the one we love and left wondering where did the time go?  Not to long ago it was the noise of radios blaring, televisions constantly blaring in the back ground, home phones ringing, roaring jet planes , car alarms, leaf blowers that sounded like broken muffler, that interrupted our quiet time with our sweethearts. But now it’s the silence of texting, emailing, the sound of our fingers stroking keyboards, and finally the sound of birds chirping ,bells ringing,  or a door knocking sound because we all have so many ring tones to choose from.

I can’t leave out the many apps that we have to choose from that are full of endless sounds from dogs barking to lions roaring. Every time I drive past a mall my phone let’s me know by a ring tone that sounds like money cha ching. If you want to keep your sweetheart happy give your full attention to her or him because if you’re never out of earshot of some distracting noise, then you could start to lose contact with them. You may not be able to force your neighbor to shut off his lawn mower or leaf blower, but there is plenty of noise-making machinery around your house that you do control. Even music,which we all love, can make it harder for the two of you to communicate if it’s always playing in the background.  So give your eyes and ears a rest once in a while, spend some quiet time together, and feel your love grow. 

Just a little tip: There’s noise and then there’s the TV, which combines sound with equally distracting images, Watching television should be done at certain times when there’s something you want to watch. Keeping it on as a back to your life will only make your life less well-lived. And if you have a TV in your bedroom you might want to turn it off and watch your sweetheart instead. 

Is Love Really Better When It Sneaks Up On You?

Spontaneous romantic moments are wonderful so grab them when  they come your way. But is love really better when it sneaks up on you? Can’t an hour or so be just as romantic if it is foreshadowed by texting  sweet nothings to your sweetheart? There is one ingredient that spontaneous romance lacks and that is anticipation.

If you know in advance that at a particular hour you’ll be staring into each other’s eyes, you  can interrupt your day with thoughts about those up coming moments. They by the time you’re in each others arms, the experience will be that much sweeter.

Plus, planned romance lacks one of spontaneous romance’s side effects: rejection. ” I’m just not in the mood” or “But it’s the biggest game of the year” are excuses you won’t hear when the appointed hour arrives.  So grab those spontaneous moments when they come your way, don’t count on them for building your very own love shack. Make certain that you stow away some precious hours for each other. The interest you earn waiting will be well above the prime.

Tip: While scheduling may be essential to the good health of your love life, make sure that your planning includes variety. A date for the two of you to get together that always falls at the same moment of the week can become boring. Make sure to add a good dose of variety to your scheduled encounters in terms not only of time, but also of place and activities.

Sometimes Little Miracles And Great Lessons Replace Our Expectatons

We usually mosey into relationships seeing their obvious possibilities, imaging specified outcomes, cocooning them with our own expectations. But what actually occurs is often shockingly different from what we expected. The person you wanted marry doesn’t want to marry you, the woman you thought would make a great mother for your children decides to  move to Paris and become a model. The man of you wanted to marry with a bottomless trust fund decides to give it all away to charity leaving him penniless. 

Surprising revisions can happen on even the simplest levels; ” When I feel in love with him, he looked so handsome in his date to impress wear; but now that you are married, all he wears is sweatshirts and blue jeans. Expectations come in two forms: general and specific. General expectations have to do with our dreams and  plans for a specific relationship: that it will lead to marriage, that it will bring children, that it will make you ” happy.” Specific expectations have to do with what we think we can count on day-to-day. He’ll take out the trash, she’ll handle the kids in a way I approve of. 

On one level, these expectations are all quite reasonable, it’s appropriate to have long-range plans and goals, and it’s legitimate to expect specific kinds of participation from your partner. But when your relationship becomes a litany of failed expectations and what you hoped for but didn’t get, maybe it’s time to look at what’s happening from another perspective instead of looking at it from needing to “communicate  better” or ” negotiating your differences start looking at it from a place of accepting what is. Accepting under these kinds of circumstances means to relinquish the perceptions of your ego and surrender to what’s been given to you. 

Maybe He’s not as romantic as you hoped for, but his spiritual strength is a constant inspiration; perhaps she’s not as thin as she was when you first met, but the way she nurtures your children is absolutely beautiful. Acceptance allows your spirit to grow. When you’re able to recognize the little miracles and great lessons that replace your expectations, you can suddenly discover that what you hoped for was pitiful puny compared to what was actually in store for the two of you.