There Will Be No Lifetime Exactly Like This One

This moment, this day, this relationship, and this life are all exquisite, unique, and unrepeatable.

LOVE IN BLOOM BLOG

There will be no love, no sweetheart, exactly like this one the man who pronounces your name in just such a way, with his beautiful voice, the man who brings flowers, whose words move your heart so tremblingly softly, whose arms holds you this way and they way, embracing, consoling, protecting: the woman whose fragrance enchants you, whose head on your chest when you sleep is the sweet weight of bliss, whose kisses are blessings, whose laughter is sunlight, whose smile is pure grace.

There will be no lifetime exactly like this one, no other, not ever again, not this birth, not this particular story, this mother and father, these houses and walls, these strangers and friends . Oh! And how you are moved by it all, with such beauty, touching each other, dancing, stepping, curtsying, bowing across all the stages, filling the rooms of your lives with this joy…

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Flannel May Be Warm And Fuzzy, But It’s Not Romantic

They used to say that clothes made the man or woman, but not everyone believes that anymore. People may dress up when going out, but the home front can be a sore for sighted eyes. Sure you want to be comfortable at home. Who wants to think about what to wear when no one can see you? No one except your sweetheart, that is. Clothes that are holey, frayed, billowing, bulging, or hanging aren’t sexy. Instead of wearing clothes that are worn and boring, try to find some that are stylish and comfortable. Maybe even just a little sexy.

And while you’re at it, just because you’re under the covers, it doesn’t mean that you’re invisible. Flannel may be warm and fuzzy, but it’s not romantic  . . . especially if there are layers upon layers of it. You don’t want to be chilly, but you also don’t want  to be unavailable. What you wear gives many messages, so be careful what you say when you climb into bed. You may have some new clothes that you’re saving because they’re too good to wear everyday. Since you can never tell how many days yo have left, and you’re certainly not getting any younger, take those clothes out of their plastic bags. Put them on your back or backside where they’ll do some good before they’re no longer your size.

Be A Person Of Your Word And Abide In Love

Stay in love and be a person of your word will build a fortress of trust in your relationship,  and that trust will allow you to truly savor the words of love and praise that are the hallmark of abiding love. So, aside from exceptions that are unavoidable: you promised to go to his collage reunion, and you came down with the flu the night before: you’d said you’d meet him at seven, but the car had a flat. Make every effort to mean and do what you say.

Words and the way our actions do or don’t stand behind their meaning have an incredible capacity to wound us or to heal us. In a very real sense, words create reality. We all invest one another’s words with our own hopes, fears, and expectations. Therefore, to keep your love alive, be a person of your word. Being a person of your word creates faith in a relationship. It means not only that you will keep your promises, but in a more general sense, that you will say what you intend  and then do what you say. 

Nothing can erode a relationship as consistently or as deeply as too many words that mean nothing. For many of us, the biggest betrayal in our lives are delivered in the form of words that aren’t true: “He said he was working late, but all the time, he was having an affair,” Your father promised to take you to Hawaii, but  he married your step mother and took her instead.” When they returned she told you that they had been in love with each other for many years but, your father had always said that they were just friends.

Since we’ve all been wounded by words, when we encounter unkempt promises, we can very quickly be shaken to the core. We’d like to believe that we can expect endless emotional resilience from our sweethearts, that it’s acceptable time and time again to not quite say what we mean or say something that turns out not to be true, but in reality, our hearts can only stand so many little white lies or unintentionally broken promises.

At some point we start taking note of the number of times our sweetheart doesn’t do what he or she says and without even noticing we begin not to listen, not to trust even the things they may still really mean. If you want to keep the flames of love burning then  try to make every effort to mean and do what you say. Be a person of your word and you will abide in love.

Celebrate Your Specialness

Discover you loving self. How can we love one another if we don’t love ourselves first? How can we find the path to that other’s heart without holding our own heart in a basket of tender care? We ourselves are the measure of the love we can deliver, the beauty of the love that we can share. Trade your ashes for beauty and learn to love yourself. God is love.

LOVE IN BLOOM BLOG

You complete me. Many people believe that when  Mr. Right or Mrs. Right comes along then they will be a complete human being. All too many of us consider love to be the miracle by which, we  will become complete human beings. This is the fixer-upper notion of love, the idea that we’re not all right as we are but we could  be  if we could  just find that one person to be loved by,  then that would prove we’re OK.   Love begets love.

If you don’t think well of your self, enjoying and valuing the person that you are, and have an understanding that self-knowledge is a lifelong personnel enterprise. It means that you appreciated yourself at least as much as you value your honey, that you know he or she is as blessed in love as you believe you are. It means you measure your strengths and weaknesses neither with the abuse of self-depreciation nor the insanity of egomania, but with genuineness, with accuracy. 

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Trust Your Sweetheart

Trust develops trust. Acknowledging that you trust the person you love with your life, with your heart, your body, your talents, your fears, your children, your worldly good, invites him or her to become even more worthy of that trust. In a wonderful upward spiral, the compliment of trust encourages even more trustworthiness. To trust means that we start from the position of believing that our sweetheart is motivated by a deep concern for us, that he or she in spite of occasional missteps or mistakes, truly has our well-being in mind. When we trust, we believe that the other loves us dearly and intends to love us well and long. Trust imagines the best: trust expects the happiest possible outcome. Trust serves with joy in the expectation that trust will be returned.

Just as trust engenders trust, doubt, its opposite, creates more suspicion. The more you suspect, expect and imagine that your sweetheart doesn’t love you and doesn’t want to care for you properly, the more it will become impossible for him or her to scale the wall of your doubt to give the gift of love, the blessing of undying affection. But trust comes from more than your own state of mind. It developed in response to the actions, words, and ways of the person you are choosing to trust. Trust is delicate, easily damaged, it can be destroyed by a single sentence of spirit-crushing attack, on thoughtless night of betrayal, a passel of lies. In matters of trust, we are the guardians of one another’s psyches and we must take the creation of trust as a serious responsibility. 

Therefore ask the best of yourself and your sweetheart after all you are worth it. Be trustworthy yourself and show integrity with your actions, intentions, and words so that you are able to create an atmosphere of trust that will last a lifetime. With all that being said, if you are in a relationship and you know that your sweetheart  isn’t trustworthy then consider getting counseling or ending the relationship. Remember if you can’t trust your sweetheart you would be able to experience  true love. Don’t let an untrustworthy person rob you of that.

Honor Your Sweetheart

When we fall in love we give ourselves over to the charms of our sweetheart, and surrender ourselves to the mysteries of union. That is when everything changes. Through each nuance of behavior, whether a kiss, a conversation, the income taxes, or making love, you are asked to take account of your sweetheart, but also of your relationship. That’s because when you fall in love, there’s another spiritual entity its the “we,” “us” that is brought into being. Although it’s invisible, it is utterly alive, vibrant, vivid, and unique; continuously present as a discrete though subtle energetic essence.

You can feel it when you’re alone together as the mysterious unified play of your two energies. You can recognize it when you present yourselves to the world, as arm in arm you enter a room and create a wave of response. It’s the constellation of ideas and points of view that as a pair, you embody, the joy that, as a couple, you bring to all those around you. It is neither the sum of both nor a negation of either of you. It is neither the sum of you both nor a negation of either of you. It is the mystical interaction by which an additional identity is created, where one plus one equals three not two. 

It is the entity relationship, the embodiment of opposites attracting, then uniting; strangers gathered at the same hearth; lovers, together, under the stars, bidding good night to the day that we acknowledging when we speak of ourselves as a “couple,” “Mr and Mrs.” “my sweetheart and I,” It meant so much to us to go to Paris .” We had a wonderful time at the party last night.” And this entity, like the individuals in it, must also be nourished. When you honor your relationship by speaking adoringly of it to others, by treating your sexual relationship as a sacred bond, by standing fast together in time of turmoil and sorrow, you strengthen the power of your union. You nourish the “we” as the precious being it is.Celebrate the unique, unrepeatable identity it has, and reweave the blanket of love that will warm and protect your union always.

Try Walking A Mile In Your Sweetheart’s Shoes

One of the great pitfalls in any relationship is to use the other person as a handy-dandy dartboard for all the things that are irritating you. It’s easy to fall into the habit of blaming them for everything that goes wrong, and/or expecting them to make everything right. In order to avoid succumbing to this unkind position, try walking a mile in your sweetheart’s. Walking a mile in your sweetheart’s shoes means that you will put yourself in their place, allow their experience to penetrated your consciousness, and feel it deeply enough so that you can console one another if necessary and not blame each other if tempted.

So, anytime you’re sure he or she is at fault for your bad mood, the broken computer, the leak in the roof, or the fact that life is boring, try putting yourself in his or her place. Imagine that your are she and bring to mind the myriad of stresses, insults,assaults,disappointments, and disasters, miniscule and gigantic, that are now besetting her life. Take a minute to think about the trauma your partner may be going through now. If you have trouble identifying with what your sweetheart is feeling, if his boots are too big or her glass slipper only has room for your big toe, here’s an exercise to try: Become your sweetheart. Begin by saying,  I am . . . ” and call yourself by your sweetheart’s name.

Then pretending you are he or she, start talking about what’s going on with “you.” What has bruised or dampened your spirits? Try to see from inside his or her heart  how your own critical, unsupportive, or blaming behavior feels when you are the person who has to receive it. What do you wish the person who loves you could do to understand or console you?

This exercise can be an opportunity for learning empathy from the inside by experiencing your own behavior through the other person’s consciousness as you assume for a moment his or her emotional identity. “Being” her or him can move you very readily to a more understanding between you. Walking a mile in your sweetheart’s shoes can enable you to see around the corner of  your own assumptions, to discover that in your need to be loved and understood, we are all one.

Spend Some Quiet Time Together And Feel Your Love Grow

Do you want to feel your love grow? Then you might want to  take your eyes off you tech toys and put them on your sweetheart.  Everyone knows that feeling when  technology calls out to them for attention. Don’t we? Our just a moments go something like this. Oh, just a minute honey let me check my texts, or my Facebook wall or email or the many ways we use technology these days.  It’s a little sad how  our love for  technology seems to run a close second to the love of our sweethearts.

Most of us spend more time on our computers and other electronics than we do with the one we love and left wondering where did the time go?  Not to long ago it was the noise of radios blaring, televisions constantly blaring in the back ground, home phones ringing, roaring jet planes , car alarms, leaf blowers that sounded like broken muffler, that interrupted our quiet time with our sweethearts. But now it’s the silence of texting, emailing, the sound of our fingers stroking keyboards, and finally the sound of birds chirping ,bells ringing,  or a door knocking sound because we all have so many ring tones to choose from.

I can’t leave out the many apps that we have to choose from that are full of endless sounds from dogs barking to lions roaring. Every time I drive past a mall my phone let’s me know by a ring tone that sounds like money cha ching. If you want to keep your sweetheart happy give your full attention to her or him because if you’re never out of earshot of some distracting noise, then you could start to lose contact with them. You may not be able to force your neighbor to shut off his lawn mower or leaf blower, but there is plenty of noise-making machinery around your house that you do control. Even music,which we all love, can make it harder for the two of you to communicate if it’s always playing in the background.  So give your eyes and ears a rest once in a while, spend some quiet time together, and feel your love grow. 

Just a little tip: There’s noise and then there’s the TV, which combines sound with equally distracting images, Watching television should be done at certain times when there’s something you want to watch. Keeping it on as a back to your life will only make your life less well-lived. And if you have a TV in your bedroom you might want to turn it off and watch your sweetheart instead. 

They Say Love Conquers All

They say that love conquers all, but that’s not really true. Some burdens are so heavy that even love gives way. Sometimes love does grow stronger because of adversity: sometimes you don’t appreciate what you have until you’re in danger of losing it. So don’t stall. Give it your all today before something goes wrong, before you have regrets, before you begin to be overwhelmed with guilt.

A few years ago I made friends with a  very nice lady who had  lost their entire family to the Holocaust and the one thing that she said that really struck a nerve was  no matter how happy you are today, tragedy can strike at any moment. Even if you do draw together because of tragic events, it doesn’t necessarily mean that the tragedy won’t win in the end.  Then I thought to myself  that’s  depressing  but then she went on to say the love you give today won’t protect you from some horrible event, but it will be felt by both of you and it can never be taken away.

This was the tip that she passed on to me: If you’re not the demonstrative type, don’t let that stop you from sharing the feeling you have for those you love. Send a text, post a hello on their Facebook wall, send a little love note from Blue Mountain .com. Be creative and go out of your way to do something special for them. If they’re close to you, they’ll get message.

“He Says, She Says”

Fighting isn’t necessarily bad, nor is it necessarily good. It’s common enough  and hopefully short-lived.  Anger festers, boils, seethes, and burns everything it touches. Communications attempted under fire are doomed from ever reaching their objective . . . the rational mind of your sweetheart. The words may come pouring out, but that doesn’t mean they’re understood especially if the mood is sour or angry. If you have to raise your voice, you’re not communicating. You may be getting something off your chest. You may need the relief. But if the other person is feeling defensive, then your message isn’t going to get through to them. 

Don’t worry about an occasional flare-up, but do something if the fire under the cauldron never goes out. Constant bickering wears down both parties and wears love out. If you’re always at the boiling point, try to figure out why. You may be taking it out on your sweetheart, but the source of your displeasure may be far from the home front. Acknowledging the reason your anger is boiling up will allow you to explain to your sweetheart why you’re in a bad mood. And if it’s something your sweetheart is doing, then try to work things out before the anger gets out of control or eventually your sweetie will be saying goodbye to you.